I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
