Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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