I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
