ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
