what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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