This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
