You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
