Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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