I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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