Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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