I must be too annoying 4 u.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
