I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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