Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
