yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
