At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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