she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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