he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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