The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
