when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
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I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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