Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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