So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize