I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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