I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
