in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
