I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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