Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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