i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
