Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
