How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
