Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
