let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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