the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
