Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
