Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I deserve this hangover.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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