i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
