Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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