I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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