did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
