A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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