Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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