I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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