just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
