they need to just BURY HIM!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
