I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
