Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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