awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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