Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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