Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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