Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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