You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
