is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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