bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
