Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
