I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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