It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
