i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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