i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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