I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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