Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...