Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is