The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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