Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize