She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
